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11 July 2005 @ 04:25 pm
No Such Thing... (ATTN: Sayid, Claire, Charlie, Sun, anyone in the caves)  
Shannon hated the 'rape' caves. They always made her feel claustrophobic and trapped. All she could do was stare at the 'bed' Jack had made for Boone when he was trying to save him. It seemed fitting that she was next to Boone's deathbed at the end. Shannon didn't hold out much hope that they would be saved from the Island people by some miracle.

But there were no such things as miracles...especially here.

She stared listlessly, without seeing anything. She was forced out of her haze when Vincent whined and nudged her with his nose. "What?" she asked, annoyed, but rubbed his head automatically. This dog had her wrapped around its finger faster than she had most boys offering her the sun and the moon.

She glanced around finally really taking in the scene around her. Everyone was just sitting around, looking anxious and scared. They had heard an explosion earlier and everyone freaked out. Okay, yeah, explosion=bad, but what are you going to do about it from here? It would suck if it was one of the others, but at least it wasn't them.

Vincent rested his head on Shannon's lap, gazing up at her as she stroked his head and a small smile crept over her face.
James "Sawyer" Ford: Sayid_complex_guy_ on July 12th, 2005 03:00 am (UTC)
Sayid moved through the caves, checking in on the others as he slowly made his way towards the one person he was especially concerned for.

Reaching Shannon, he sat down beside her slowly. Facing her, he felt a stab of pain at the agony in her features. He ached for her, more than he ever thought he could hurt for another human being...not since Nadia had he known such suffering.

And that was what he felt for her...just as he had for Nadia. A deep and abiding love that knew no bounds...a love he wanted to grow, to flourish into something more than the fierce affection and overwhelming sense of quiet joy that her presence brought him.

Like Nadia, Shannon was a woman he could feel passion for...and he wanted to, so desperately...

"Shannon." he greeted her quietly, reaching out to lay a warm, strong hand over hers comfortingly. "Talk to me...please?"
_the_runaway__ on July 12th, 2005 03:24 am (UTC)
Shannon looked back at Sayid with dead, lifeless eyes, eyes that had not shown anything but grief and listlessness since Boone had died.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked him flatly, continuing to absently pet Vincent. She knew she was being hard on him, but part of her couldn't help but hate him for taking her to that spot that day. He might have hung on if she was there.

She should have been there. Boone shouldn't have died alone.

He had never been good at letting go when they were kids...why did he have to do it then...when she hadn't been there to tell him what an idiot he was being?
James "Sawyer" Ford_complex_guy_ on July 12th, 2005 03:33 am (UTC)
Sayid ran his thumb over her knuckles lightly, shrugging a bit. "What's in your heart." he replied simply. Because he had to know...no matter what the cost.

In too short a time, she'd become so important to him...if he had to cut his own throat to spare her any suffering, he was fairly certain he could do it.

Anything to see her smile again.
_the_runaway__ on July 12th, 2005 03:38 am (UTC)
What was in her heart? She had no heart. She destroyed the only person that had ever really 'seen' her. She had hurt him over and over again, but he still loved her.

He saved her more times than she could count. Anytime she called, she knew Boone would be there. She had thought him stupid at the time, weak and gullible, but now she knew...he was stronger than she could ever hope to be. And when he needed the saving, where was she?

No, her heart had been broken. She was left with a screaming black hole in its place.

"I wasn't there," she finally managed to say. "I wasn't there to save him. It was my turn." A tear rolled down her cheek. She didn't know if she would ever be able to forgive herself...or Sayid.
James "Sawyer" Ford: Sayid_complex_guy_ on July 12th, 2005 01:46 pm (UTC)
Sayid took in her words...took in the unspoken pain that ravaged her.

And deep in his heart...he knew that he would never know that kind of passion with Shannon that he wanted to feel.

Her love was dead...but his was not. But that love...it would never be more than this.

Her love had died with Boone...he could only pray she would allow him to keep this.

Sayid leaned in to wrap a chaste arm around her shoulders, drawing her against him.

"I am here now." he whispered. "If you will have me."
_the_runaway__ on July 12th, 2005 04:39 pm (UTC)
Shannon stared out into the trees with dead eyes. He was here. Once upon a tiime that might have comforted her...now it just made her want to cry.

"You know I can never be with you again," she said, an edge her in voice. Part of her wanted to hurt him...push him away. The sight of him reminded her of Boone. Besides, she didn't deserve kindness right now...not after what she had done.

"How am I supposed to see you as anything but the guy I had sex with while my brother was dying?" She finally looked at him, her eyes challenging and stubborn, but also broken and lost.
James "Sawyer" Ford: Sayid_complex_guy_ on July 12th, 2005 07:05 pm (UTC)
Sayid sighed deeply, his heart heavy with sorrow as he gazed down at their joined hands...her pale skin was so stark against his darker complexion. Darkness and light...that's what she was, pure light.

A light *he* had tainted.

"I know you can never love me as a man...not after this." he replied quietly. After a moment, his gaze lifted to meet hers, dark eyes soft with concern and affection. "And I know that what I feel for you...I have strived to make it more, and I have failed. But that does not change the fact that I care. I am here, Shannon...not to win your love, nor to change what has already been done...I am simply here, by your side...and I always will be." He paused, his gaze growing sad. "If you will allow it."
_the_runaway__ on July 15th, 2005 11:19 pm (UTC)
God, why did he have to be nice? This would be so much easier if he just told her she was a selfish bitch or something.

Shannon looked at Sayid after a moment, her eyes searching his. He didn't fail, she did. "Thank you," she said simply, giving him a watery smile. This was what she needed right now. She needed a friend.
risinghigher__ on July 20th, 2005 09:52 pm (UTC)
What day was it? She didn't know. It seemed to her either a whole lot of time had passed, or very little. Either way, it was as if the world had turned its back on them.

The fact that they were dying confirmed just about everyone's suspicion that they were never going to get off this island. One by one they would all die. There would be no survivors.

She had tried her hardest not to let this kind of thinking set in, but when she heard those terrible gunshots, and the screaming... Well, whether they were dead yet or not, what did it matter? Eventually they were all going to die.

And so, instead of rushing to the shore, in hopes of being able to help the men on the raft, Sun ran toward the caves. All she wanted was to be alone. She didn't want to deal with anything, especially not his death. Jin leaving the island to get help, that she could deal with. But if he was dead....

In her blind deer-in-the-headlights dash for the cave, Sun didn't hear the voices. She stumbled once, twice, then fell at the mouth of the cave, scraping her knee. She blinked back tears. What was a scraped knee if Jin was dead? What if the boy had died?

She didn't want to know. She sat there, kneeling, her scraped knee bleeding and stinging, and cried into her chapped and weathered hands. This was what she got, for turning her back on Jin. Now he would die, and she would have to live with the guilt.

[[ Sorry it took me so long. I've been busy and honestly didn't know where to start here. ]]
James "Sawyer" Ford: Sayid_complex_guy_ on July 23rd, 2005 08:50 pm (UTC)
Sayid felt a small pang of relief as he reached up, brushing Shannon's hair from her eyes, the gesture one of gentle concern. After a moment, he pulled her into a warm, enveloping hug, simply holding her...comforting her as best he could.